Two crackers and Jam: My ten days off struggle and discovery on a Sri Lankan monostary.

It was almost 5 o’clock in the afternoon. I had been looking forward to this moment the whole day. There were few “joys” in this monastery but this was one of them. It was the last meal of the day. Meal is to say a lot since it was nearly a bite. Enough to give you something but not enough to fill you up. The standard was three water biscuits and jam. It was an absolute treat and I loved these water biscuits way more than I should have. My unknown dining mate normally saved his for breakfast. I would always look at him carefully putting his crackers away in a napkin for safe keeping. I sat with him three times a day, knew his eating habits but nothing else about this stranger.

As I walked into the dining hall this day something was off, I was smelling curry. I hated curry. Panic was spreading in my body as I took off my flip flops at the entrance and made it into the dingy dining hall. As I pick up my metal plate and cup and head towards the end of the hall my suspicions are confirmed, rice and curry our standard meal, is on the menu today. My face drops and I’m about to cry. I am thinking what cruel joke they are playing on us. One of the tenets of this retreat is not to get too attached as attachment leads to fear of loss and misery. Right on, I was thinking, but taking away my crackers that’s…